I Can't Stop Overthinking Everything
I Can’t Stop Overthinking
You want to switch off.
But you can’t.
Your mind starts with one thought and, before you know it, that one thought has turned into 100 different scenarios.
If I do that, this might happen.
If I do it this way, what if that happens?
What if I get it wrong?
What if she says this?
What if he does that?
Then you start answering situations that have not happened, preparing for conversations you have not had and trying to solve problems that may never exist.
By the time you have finished, it can feel as though the left side of your head has been tied into a knot and there should be smoke coming off your brain.
And the frustrating part?
You know you are doing it.
You just cannot seem to stop.
“I can’t stop overthinking” can become the sentence you repeat to yourself most often, especially when your brain refuses to quiet down even when there is nothing more you can do in that moment.
When Your Brain Won’t Leave You Alone
Overthinking is exhausting because your body may be sitting still while your brain is working overtime.
You can be lying in bed physically tired, desperate to sleep, while your mind is still holding a full board meeting.
Replaying.
Predicting.
Checking.
Questioning.
Recalculating.
Sometimes people try to find a way to shut it down.
A few drinks might seem to quiet the noise temporarily. But poor-quality sleep, waking up drained and then having to function properly the following day can simply add another layer of pressure.
Other people try to outrun their thoughts by keeping themselves stimulated, constantly busy or using substances to change how they feel. But when an already overloaded brain becomes more stimulated or severely sleep deprived, racing thoughts and feeling constantly on edge can become even worse.
The problem is not always that you need another technique for distracting yourself from your thoughts.
The bigger question is:
Why does your brain believe it needs to think this much in the first place?
Overthinking Can Make Perfect Sense in a High-Pressure World
For people carrying significant responsibility, switching off is not always easy.
Your working life may require you to notice what other people miss.
You may need to anticipate problems before they happen.
You may be responsible for decisions where mistakes carry serious consequences.
That way of thinking can be extremely useful while you are doing your job.
The difficulty comes when your brain does not recognise that the shift has ended.
A surgeon or healthcare professional may spend their working day making decisions where getting something wrong could have serious consequences.
A lawyer may be trained to examine different interpretations, anticipate arguments and identify what could go wrong.
Pilots and air traffic controllers work in environments where concentration, vigilance and accuracy matter enormously.
Business owners, executives and senior leaders may carry responsibility for staff, finances, clients, reputation and decisions that affect far more people than themselves.
You cannot simply spend eight, ten or twelve hours telling your brain:
Look for problems. Check everything. Don’t miss anything.
…and expect it to instantly respond at 7pm with:
No problem. I’ll switch all of that off now.
Sometimes that alertness follows you home.
But Overthinking Does Not Always Start With Your Job
Quite often, the roots were planted much earlier than people realise.
You may have learned to anticipate reactions.
To check the atmosphere before speaking.
To think three steps ahead.
To make sure you did not upset someone.
To prepare for what might go wrong.
To avoid making mistakes because mistakes did not feel safe.
To calculate what somebody else might say or do before making your own decision.
Do that for long enough and thinking ahead stops being something you consciously choose.
It becomes automatic.
Your brain learns:
Before I act, I need to work out every possible outcome.
That may once have served a purpose.
Years later, it can leave you mentally exhausted.
Firm Ground® Does Not Teach You to Suppress the Thoughts
This is where the Firm Ground® methodology is different.
I am not interested in teaching you how to wrestle your thoughts into submission.
I am not going to tell you to simply think positively.
And I am not interested in giving you another set of coping techniques that help you tolerate the same pressure indefinitely.
We look underneath the overthinking.
What is your brain trying to protect you from?
What pressure is keeping it switched on?
What are you anticipating?
What are you afraid could happen if you stop checking, predicting or preparing?
And how far back does that pattern actually go?
Then we deal with the pressure at its source.
One by one.
Think of It Like Wearing a Belt That Is Too Tight
Imagine wearing a belt that has been pulled several notches too tight.
You could learn breathing exercises to cope with the discomfort.
You could distract yourself.
You could tell yourself not to focus on it.
You could become very skilled at functioning while uncomfortable.
Or…
You could loosen the belt.
One notch.
Then another.
Then another.
Until there is finally enough room to breathe properly.
That is how I approach pressure.
Not by teaching you to become better at living with something that is suffocating you.
By identifying what is tightening the belt in the first place and removing the pressure until your mind has room to function properly again.
The aim is not to stop you thinking.
Your ability to think, anticipate and analyse may be one of your greatest strengths.
The aim is for you to control your thinking — rather than your thinking controlling you.
When the pressure underneath it changes, the endless scenarios no longer need to run the show.
Your head becomes quieter.
Decisions become clearer.
And you finally get some space inside your own mind.
Firm Ground®
Pressure does not always need managing.
Sometimes it needs removing.
Private 1-to-1 Executive Stress & Pressure Coaching
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