Awake at 3am Again?
You are awake at 3am again.
Searching awake at 3am again on Google.
Just exactly what are you looking for?
What do you think you are going to find this time that you did not find last night?
That wired feeling.
Heavy eyes.
Not knowing if you were actually asleep or not.
That daze.
That haze.
You do not want to look at the clock.
You are hoping you made it to at least 4am today.
But no.
For fuck's sake.
It is 3am again.
So Why Are You Awake at 3am?
One explanation you will see online is cortisol.
Cortisol naturally starts rising during the second half of the night as your body moves towards waking up.
That bit is normal.
But stress and anxiety can also leave your body feeling more alert and make sleep harder. Stress is also recognised as one of the common causes of insomnia.
So rather than convincing yourself that 3am itself is some magical problem that needs fixing, perhaps there is another question worth asking:
What is keeping you so switched on in the first place?
Get up.
Take a walk.
Read a book.
Take a piss.
Do whatever you like.
But avoiding dealing with the stress is not getting you anywhere, is it?
At some point you have to come to terms with the fact that you need to deal with the fucking stress.
Knowing You Need to Deal With Stress Is One Thing
Actually doing it is another.
You might already know exactly what is stressing you out.
But having the capacity, confidence or backbone to do something about it can feel completely different.
Maybe you find it hard to say no.
Maybe you are too used to pleasing everybody.
Maybe you are worried about what people will think.
Maybe you do not want to upset anybody.
Maybe dealing with the problem means having a conversation you have been avoiding.
Maybe it means admitting something is not working.
Maybe it means making a change you know somebody else is not going to like.
That is why you keep avoiding it.
Not because you do not know there is a problem.
Because dealing with it might actually require something from you.
You Cannot Think Stress Away
If stress is regularly waking you up at 3am, at some point you need to take your head out of the sand and start doing something about it.
You cannot just think it away.
You cannot keep hoping that tonight will somehow be different while doing nothing differently during the day.
And relaxation techniques?
For some people they help.
For plenty of people they do not.
Especially when your head is already completely fried.
Breathing.
Grounding.
Counting.
Meditating.
All lovely.
But they can end up dancing around the actual issue.
And when they do not work, you have got another problem.
Why didn't that work?
Am I doing it wrong?
It works for everybody else.
Is there something wrong with me?
And now instead of falling back to sleep, you are lying there analysing why the thing that was supposed to calm you down did not calm you down.
Brilliant.
It Is Time to Look Your Pressure in the Eye
You may have tried everything.
You may have gone around the houses.
You may have read every sleep article on Google.
But at some point, you have to look your pressure in the eye.
You cannot keep going like this.
It is not sustainable.
You probably feel like shit during the day.
Your brain feels fried.
Your eyes feel heavy.
You cannot concentrate properly.
And on top of feeling awful, you might also be permanently conscious that you look like you feel awful.
Stress can affect sleep, concentration and irritability, and regularly getting poor sleep can make everyday life harder too.
Something needs to change.
Start With One Pressure
You do not need to sort your entire life out tomorrow.
You need to start addressing the pressure one thing at a time.
I know that is easier said than done when your brain feels like somebody has tipped a box of wires onto the floor and told you to untangle them.
Where do you even start?
That is exactly why I created the Where Do I Start? quiz.
Take the quiz below and work out what is bending your brain right now.
Then start there.
One pressure.
One decision.
One change.
Then the next.
What Happens Next?
Once you know where you need to start, you have options.
You can join my Firm Ground Circle and choose the level that suits you.
Or, if you are ready to properly change what is going on in your life, you can come to me for a full Life Transformation Programme.
Because right now you might not even recognise yourself.
You might remember who you used to be and wonder where the hell that person went.
That does not mean that version of you has disappeared.
And we are not necessarily trying to get the old version back either.
I am going to take you towards a version of yourself you did not even know was possible.
But first, we need to work out what is bending your brain.
Take the quiz below.
And perhaps tomorrow at 3am, instead of asking Google the same question again, you will finally have somewhere to start.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why do I keep waking up at 3am?
There can be lots of reasons, including stress, anxiety, pain, hormones, medication and sleep problems.
If you are waking up wired with your brain already running through problems, stress may be part of what is keeping you switched on.
Is waking up at 3am caused by cortisol?
Cortisol naturally starts to rise during the second half of the night as your body moves towards waking.
That does not mean cortisol is the only reason you are awake at 3am, but stress can also make it harder for your body and brain to fully settle.
Why do I feel wide awake at 3am even though I am exhausted?
Because being physically tired and being mentally switched off are not the same thing.
You can be shattered while your brain is still busy trying to deal with pressure, worries and decisions.
Why does my brain start thinking about everything when I wake up?
Because once you are awake, your brain can quickly pick up whatever has been sitting in the background.
Money.
Work.
Kids.
Relationships.
Things you have been avoiding.
One thought can quickly turn into twenty.
Should I get out of bed if I wake up at 3am?
Getting up for a short time can help some people.
But if stress is part of the reason you keep waking, getting out of bed does not deal with the pressure underneath it.
Do breathing exercises help when I wake up at 3am?
They can help some people settle in the moment.
But they do not necessarily fix what is keeping your brain switched on.
If they do not work for you, that does not mean you are doing anything wrong.
Can stress really wake me up in the middle of the night?
Yes, stress can affect sleep and make it harder to stay asleep or feel properly rested.
If this keeps happening, look at what is putting you under pressure during the day as well as what happens at night.
Why do relaxation techniques sometimes make me more anxious?
Because when you expect something to calm you down and it does not work, you can start worrying about that too.
Why is this not working?
Am I doing it wrong?
Is something wrong with me?
That gives your brain even more to think about.
How do I stop waking up at 3am because of stress?
Start by identifying what is putting you under the most pressure.
You do not need to fix everything at once.
Find one pressure, deal with that, then move to the next.
Where do I start if I know I am stressed but everything feels mixed together?
Start with what is taking up the most space in your head right now.
If you cannot work that out, take the Where Do I Start? quiz above and use that as your starting point.
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