How Do I Get Rid of Insomnia?
It is around 3am again.
And here you are asking Google the same question:
How do I get rid of insomnia?
Surely you must have read every page by now.
But here you are again, trying to find something new.
Something you have not tried.
Something that might finally make you sleep.
You know that feeling.
That heavy head.
Going through your days in a daze.
Feeling like you are sleepwalking your way through life.
That continuous buzz in your head.
That heaviness around your ears and eyes.
Coffee makes you feel like crap.
Pro Plus makes you feel even worse.
You do not want another technique.
You just want one decent night of sleep so you can feel at least partially normal again.
So you can feel like yourself again.
There Is Plenty of Advice About Insomnia
Go to bed at the same time.
Get up at the same time.
Do not look at your phone.
Do not drink caffeine.
Get out of bed if you cannot sleep.
Try breathing exercises.
Try CBT.
Change the way you think about sleep.
Some of that can help and when it doesn't help you, you start thinking why is not working for me? It works for everyone else which leads to a different pressure preventing you from falling asleep.
What is hard to find is anything that talks about
What is putting you under pressure in the first place?
Stress and anxiety are recognised causes of insomnia.
When you start looking for ways to get rid of insomnia, all that pops up is same crap about changing your sleep routine, changing your thoughts or managing what happens when you cannot sleep.
Fine.
But what about the pressure that was there before the insomnia started?
What About the Pressure Underneath It?
You might be worried about money.
Your relationship might be falling apart.
You might hate your job.
You might be carrying responsibility for everybody else.
You might be angry about something you keep pretending you are fine with.
You might be lonely.
You might have absolutely no confidence left.
You might be avoiding a decision because you know making it will upset somebody.
You might not even know what is putting you under pressure anymore because there is so much of it.
But something has to give.
Stress does not only exist while you are consciously thinking about it.
It can show up as feeling overwhelmed, struggling to concentrate, being irritable, worrying constantly and sleeping too much or too little.
So why does the advice only talk about the sleep and not what is underneath.
What About CBT for Insomnia?
CBT for insomnia — usually called CBT-I — is a recognised treatment for long-term insomnia and can help people change thoughts and behaviours that are keeping sleep problems going.
I am not going to tell you CBT is a load of bollocks.
It isn't.
Changing thoughts and behaviour is possible.
I developed my own methodology around behaviour change, so I know it is possible to change behaviours.
But here is where CBT can miss the point and start becoming bordering useless for some people: it may change the thoughts and behaviours around sleep, but it does not necessarily address the underlying pressure that helped create the problem in the first place.
You can work on the behaviour around sleep.
You can work on the thoughts around sleep.
You can stop lying in bed for hours.
You can change your routine.
You can learn not to panic when you wake up.
All useful.
But if a major pressure in your life is still sitting there untouched, that pressure has not magically disappeared because your sleep behaviour changed.
It Is Like Painting Over Mould
Imagine mould growing on a wall.
You call someone in to sort it.
They paint over it.
Looks lovely.
Problem solved?
Not really.
The mould is still underneath.
You just cannot see it anymore.
That is what happens when you get a dodgy workman to do a job and they bodge it.
It looks good on the outside, but the job is only half done.
Inspect it properly and you will still see the mould underneath.
This is the same with a lot of insomnia advice and treatment.
If you only deal with the sleep problem but never address the pressure underneath it, you may improve what is happening on the surface but what is happening underneath goes underneath. Yeah they may help you to sleep a little but the problem is still showing up, just in other ways.
You are irritable.
You start snapping at people.
You do not feel like yourself.
You cannot switch your brain off.
You overthink everything.
You drink more.
You look for another way to escape how you feel.
You make decisions you would not normally make.
The original symptom may have changed.
The pressure has not gone anywhere it just transformed.
If You Want to Get Rid of Insomnia, Look at Your Pressure Too
One of the first things I would want to know is:
What is keeping your brain switched on?
Not only at 3am.
During the day.
What are you avoiding?
What are you putting up with?
What keeps coming back into your head?
What are you scared will happen?
What decision do you know you need to make?
What are you pretending is fine when it really isn't?
Sometimes we do not want to look at those things.
Because looking your problems in the eye might mean change.
It might mean upsetting somebody.
It might mean saying no.
It might mean admitting something is not working.
It might mean taking accountability for something you have been avoiding.
And yes, that can be uncomfortable.
But continuously skirting around the problem does not make it disappear.
You may know what you need to do but you do not have the capacity, the confidence, the strength or the backbone to act on it.
You Cannot Keep Going Around the Same Circle
You wake up.
You Google insomnia.
You try another technique.
You drag yourself through another day.
You hope tonight will be different.
Then 3am comes around again.
And there you are.
How do I get rid of insomnia?
At some point, you have to stop looking only at sleep and start looking at what is happening in your life while you are awake.
That does not mean every case of insomnia is caused by stress. Sleep problems can have other causes, including pain, menopause, medicines and sleep disorders, so persistent insomnia should also be medically assessed where needed.
But if pressure is part of yours, do not keep pretending it is irrelevant.
Start there too.
Where Do I Start?
This is usually the next problem.
You know you are stressed.
Great.
Now what?
When your brain is already fried, being told to deal with your stress is not particularly useful if you cannot even work out which problem to deal with first.
That is why I created the Where Do I Start? quiz.
It helps you look at what is taking up the most space in your head so you can stop trying to fix everything at once.
Take the quiz below.
Then join my circle to deal with one pressure at a time.
Because otherwise, there is a fair chance you will find yourself back here again.
3am.
Eyes burning.
Head buzzing.
Typing:
How do I get rid of insomnia?
Frequently Asked Questions
How do I get rid of insomnia?
There is no single fix that works for everyone.
If stress and pressure are part of what is keeping you awake, one of the first steps is working out what is actually putting you under pressure and starting there.
Can stress cause insomnia?
Yes.
Stress can make it harder to switch off, stay asleep or feel properly rested.
Why do I keep waking up at 2am or 3am?
Insomnia is common which doesn't help you when you are laid there awake at 3am in the morning
There can be lots of reasons.
Stress, worry, pain, hormones, medication and sleep problems can all play a part.
If your brain wakes up and immediately starts running through problems, pressure may be part of the picture.
Can CBT get rid of insomnia?
CBT-I can help some people change thoughts and behaviours around sleep.
But if there are still major pressures in your life, those will still need to be dealt with separately.
Why do I feel exhausted but still cannot sleep?
Because being tired and being mentally switched off are not the same thing.
You can be physically exhausted while your brain is still running through problems, worries and decisions.
Does fixing my sleep routine solve insomnia?
It can help.
But if the thing keeping your brain switched on is pressure, changing your bedtime routine will not be enough on its own.
Why do I feel like I am sleepwalking through the day?
Poor or broken sleep can leave you feeling foggy, heavy, irritable and disconnected from yourself.
If that is happening regularly, it is worth looking at both your sleep and what may be driving it.
Can pressure show up in other ways if I ignore it?
Yes.
Pressure can show up as irritability, overthinking, poor sleep, snapping at people, violent behaviour, erratic behaviour, feeling unlike yourself or reaching for unhealthy ways to switch off.
Where do I start if I know stress is affecting my sleep?
Start with the pressure taking up the most space in your head.
Do not try to fix everything at once.
One thing first.
When should I speak to a doctor about insomnia?
If your sleep problems are persistent, getting worse, affecting your day or you are worried there could be another cause, speak to a healthcare professional.
Stress may be part of the picture, but it is not the only possible cause.
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