Overthinking and Anxiety: Which Comes First?
Which came first, overthinking or anxiety?
It is a bit like asking which came first, the chicken or the egg.
Is it overthinking that leads to anxiety?
Or is it anxiety that leads to overthinking?
Quite often, the two get muddled together.
You think about one problem.
Then another.
Then another.
Before you know it, your brain feels heavy.
It can feel like you have weights sitting behind your eyes.
You get that weird light fluttery feeling in your stomach when you think about money, kids, relationships, family, work or whatever else is going on.
So you try to think your way out of it.
And the more you think, the worse it feels.
Overthinking and Anxiety Often Come From the Same Place
Overthinking and anxiety are not exactly the same thing.
But they often have one big thing in common.
Pressure.
When you have been under stress for a while, your brain can start trying to fix everything at once.
You go over conversations.
You think about what might happen.
You think about what you should have done.
You think about what you need to do next.
Then you tell yourself to calm down.
But your body does not understand the words calm down.
It has to actually feel calmer.
Why Breathing Exercises Do Not Work for Everyone
If you search for ways to stop overthinking or calm anxiety, you will usually find the same advice.
Breathe.
Try box breathing.
Meditate.
Do yoga.
Go for a walk.
And I am not saying these things are a load of bollocks.
They can work.
But they do not work for everyone.
If you are mildly stressed, slowing down and breathing may be enough to help.
If your brain is completely overloaded, it might do very little.
You can sit there breathing while your brain is still thinking:
How am I going to pay that bill?
What am I going to do about my relationship?
What is happening with my child?
What if I lose my job?
What do I deal with first?
The breathing has not removed the thing your brain is worrying about.
If You Have Tried Loads of Breathing Exercises, Try This
Put one hand on your chest and the other on the back of your neck.
Breathe in for 4.
Hold your breath for 4.
Then breathe out slowly for 8.
Do that 3 times.
Then breathe in for 4 again.
At the top of that breath, take a second small inhale.
Then breathe out slowly for 8.
Do that 3 times too.
Do not tell yourself to calm down.
Invite it instead.
You are not trying to force your body into being calm.
You are giving it an opportunity to step down for a moment.
If you feel light-headed or uncomfortable, stop and return to your normal breathing. Do not force or strain your breath.
And this is important:
This is not going to fix your overthinking or anxiety.
Addressing the stress and pressure underneath it is how you start doing that.
What this can do is give you a small bit of space before you work out what actually needs your attention.
When Trying to Calm Down Makes You Feel Worse
This is where people can start doubting themselves.
You have been told something should work.
You try it.
It does not.
Then the overthinking starts again.
Why is this not working for me?
Am I doing it wrong?
Why can everyone else calm down?
Is there something wrong with me?
Now you are anxious about being anxious.
This does not mean you are failing.
It does not mean you are doing it wrong.
It also does not mean there is something seriously wrong with you.
It may simply mean you're pressure is has kind of made everything else numb so let's sort that out with helping you figure out where to start.
Your Brain Is Trying to Fix Too Much at Once
A lot of people know they are stressed.
They just do not know exactly where to start.
That is more common than you might think.
You might have problems with money, kids, work, relationships and family all at the same time.
Ask yourself what needs fixing first and your brain says:
Everything.
That is the problem.
Your brain is trying to fix 1,000 things at once because you do not know where to start.
So it keeps going round and round.
Start With One Thing
The first step is not always asking:
How do I stop overthinking?
Sometimes the better question is:
What is putting me under the most pressure right now?
Then start there.
Not everything.
One thing.
You do not need to sort your whole life out today.
You need to know where to begin.
Take the Where Do I Start? quiz below and let's work out what is taking up the most space in your head.
Then tackle things one at a time.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can anxiety cause overthinking?
Yes.
When you feel anxious, your brain can keep looking for answers.
You replay things, worry about what might happen and try to work everything out.
Can overthinking cause anxiety?
Yes.
The more you go over problems in your head, the more anxious you can feel.
That is why the two can feed each other.
Why can't I stop overthinking?
Because telling yourself to stop thinking does not deal with what is creating the pressure.
Your brain may still be trying to solve something.
Why don't breathing exercises work for me?
Because breathing exercises do not work the same for everyone.
If you are carrying a lot of pressure, breathing alone may not be enough.
Does that mean I am doing it wrong?
No.
A technique not working does not mean you are failing.
It may just mean it is not what you need at that moment.
Can stress make you overthink?
Yes.
When you have too much going on, it can become harder to think clearly and decide what needs your attention first.
That can leave your brain jumping from one problem to another.
Where do I start if everything feels like too much?
Start with one thing.
Not ten.
Not everything.
One.
Your brain does not need another 1,000 things to think about.
It needs somewhere to start.
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